Not Ashamed (post from former blog 2017)

This is something that I just don’t understand. As a rape victim, I personally know what it is like to feel like the entire world just wants to kill you. That everything is your fault. That you are a disgrace, ugly and dirty. But absolutely none of these things are true. It’s extremely hard to have somebody who has never been raped or molested understand what you are going through, so you feel utterly alone. You are afraid to talk about it, afraid to think about it. But that’s all you do is think about it. Constantly look over your shoulder, always wanting to know who is around you.

But why are we ashamed? We did nothing wrong! The strangers, the family members, the friends who did this unforgivable act should be the ones ashamed.

It’s a terrible feeling to not be comfortable around the opposite sex. You isolate yourself to protect your mind and your body. Sometimes you are even afraid to be around your father, brothers, grandfathers.

And that isn’t right. You are NOT a disgrace. You are NOT dirty. You are NOT ugly. You are brave, you are strong, you are a SURVIVOR.

And one day, whether it be tomorrow, or in a year, or ten years, you will realize that.

So keep your head up. Live everyday to the fullest. It’s ok to be scared, but it will fade.

As the old saying goes “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

Be Strong. Live.